I'm not sure where to disclose this, but my blog seems the best bet, as I don't feel comfortable notifying people about any emotional baggage.Quite frankly I don't think anyone other than Allah genuinely cares. Rewind back about three years ago, I suffered from severe depression.
I just remember crying, crying on my way to college, sometimes for no reason but mostly for some reason or the other. I had a lot going on at home and outside as well that triggered huge stress on me and I started to loose my appetite and my weight went down. Anyway, to cut a long story short, after talking to a close friend, I realised the drugs (medication-anti-depressants) that I was taking were not helping me to solve my problems but merely giving me a fake illusion of happiness during certain intervals in the day. So I stopped taking the drugs of my own accord and telling my GP two weeks later. My GP dramatically told me that I would end up in a mental home as a result of withdrawal symptoms. I managed fine to be honest. Yeah it was hard, but I kept myself busy with my studies and really focused my energy on faith and prayer and trying to keep others happy to keep myself going.
Fast forward a year, and here I am typing this, with tears prickling my eyes. I feel really dizzy, and I get this weird feeling in my stomach, and then my hands start aching, my body starts shivering and I feel as if all the pain I have endured in my 20 years of life get physically imprinted on to my heart. Because I go into this stance, where my heart literally feels heavy with pain and I feel so alone, so scared and upset. I've been feeling like this for a period of now three months and I have a strong feeling that I have got depression again.
In the past, I have had medical professionals hound me to come visit them at the local Mental Health Hospital, and while this may seem to you the most wise and beneficial thing to do, I believe I can come up with my own solutions to cure my depression. If I do a search online right now, it tells me to do things like regularly meet up with friends, join new clubs and that. And quite frankly, I do all of that, and guess what? I'm still depressed. Like right now I'm so angry and I don't particularly know why. I feel like ripping my hairs out of my head. I'm so angry with the world. But then I shouldn't be. God has blessed me with the most beautiful things life can give you.
A walking paradox is what I am. Stressed when I'm blessed.
To whoever is reading this, check on your loved ones when you can, even if it is a phone call or a ten minute visit, because you never really know what someone is going through and how short life is.
According to the Office For National Statistics, one in five adults are affected by depression.
I just remember crying, crying on my way to college, sometimes for no reason but mostly for some reason or the other. I had a lot going on at home and outside as well that triggered huge stress on me and I started to loose my appetite and my weight went down. Anyway, to cut a long story short, after talking to a close friend, I realised the drugs (medication-anti-depressants) that I was taking were not helping me to solve my problems but merely giving me a fake illusion of happiness during certain intervals in the day. So I stopped taking the drugs of my own accord and telling my GP two weeks later. My GP dramatically told me that I would end up in a mental home as a result of withdrawal symptoms. I managed fine to be honest. Yeah it was hard, but I kept myself busy with my studies and really focused my energy on faith and prayer and trying to keep others happy to keep myself going.
Fast forward a year, and here I am typing this, with tears prickling my eyes. I feel really dizzy, and I get this weird feeling in my stomach, and then my hands start aching, my body starts shivering and I feel as if all the pain I have endured in my 20 years of life get physically imprinted on to my heart. Because I go into this stance, where my heart literally feels heavy with pain and I feel so alone, so scared and upset. I've been feeling like this for a period of now three months and I have a strong feeling that I have got depression again.
In the past, I have had medical professionals hound me to come visit them at the local Mental Health Hospital, and while this may seem to you the most wise and beneficial thing to do, I believe I can come up with my own solutions to cure my depression. If I do a search online right now, it tells me to do things like regularly meet up with friends, join new clubs and that. And quite frankly, I do all of that, and guess what? I'm still depressed. Like right now I'm so angry and I don't particularly know why. I feel like ripping my hairs out of my head. I'm so angry with the world. But then I shouldn't be. God has blessed me with the most beautiful things life can give you.
A walking paradox is what I am. Stressed when I'm blessed.
To whoever is reading this, check on your loved ones when you can, even if it is a phone call or a ten minute visit, because you never really know what someone is going through and how short life is.
According to the Office For National Statistics, one in five adults are affected by depression.