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The Male Gaze- I Can't Put Up With It Anymore!

The first time I was introduced to the phrase 'the male gaze' was in my A-Level Media studies class, a few years back. Laura Mulvey, a feminist theorist, coined this term to highlight the indecent nature of objectifying women in cinema. Though we studied her a lot, 'the male gaze' did not really speak to me and it didn't resonate. I was too naive at that point, that understand the impact a certain stare can have on one's honour and dignity. I mean I was used to seeing women dressed semi-naked in everything from food product adverts to car adverts, it was nothing new.

Being a 21 year-old attractive woman (if I do say so myself), I am now concerned at the way 'the male gaze' has been appropriated, not just in film, but in real life. From the time I step outside my house, I am literally approached by men, every minute or so. No exaggeration intended. Now, I'm not being vain, or saying that my face is covered in glitter, nor do I wear revealing items of clothing, but there seems to be something about me which catches the eyes of the opposite gender. Might I add, this isn't my sly attempt at boosting my self-esteem or being arrogant either, just stating some facts. To be dressed in a fairly modest manner (most of the time, jeans and a top), have no make up on and be desired, is really humbling, but juxtaposed with feelings of contempt.

Don't get it twisted, it is extremely flattering to know you turn heads, people look twice at you, but there's a thin line between men giving you the eye and men lusting over you. One thing I can't stand, is men beeping their horns at me when driving, do I look like a hazard, when I'm walking on the pavement? Come on mate. Your eyes should be on the roads, not on me. I'm just an innocent university student, fixated on my iPhone most of the times, only jumping with an ounce of fright when she is viciously beeped at. It has to stop. The question I pose to all the men, boys, and in between engaging in this activity.

Every time I get beeped at, I feel annoyed. Most times, I don't even turn around, some times I do, make eye contact with the driver and see their pupils bulging out their eye sockets and their faces excited, like a child being given a birthday present. Listen, unless you get to wear my face as a mask or walk with me, you will think I'm being over the top. I ain't. Most of my friends have remarked 'Why do people always stare at you?' or something along the lines of 'You're a problem on the roads you know'.

Yesterday, I took a walk down a local food market in South London with one of my friends, and she was gob-smacked at the amount of un-wanted male attention I was receiving. Yes, it has got to that point, where you could be what I brand a '10 outa 10', and I still wouldn't want you to look at me, let alone look me up and down and grin or wink at me. I'm cool.

You know what they say. Never trade respect for attention, because respect lasts longer. Attention comes and goes, and attention will go from one person to the next. If I do get looked at, I don't want to be stared at, or thought inappropriately about.

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