I really don't understand why there is still so much stigma attached to mental health illnesses and those who are victim to them. With the added pressures modern society is undergoing, mental health is deteriorating and more and more people are being affected and it is no wonder. Modern society is a juxtaposition of complex rooted stresses alongside taken for granted eases.
Someone whom I have known for now about a year and a about 4 months, has seriously concerned me. Since I have know him, I have witnessed what most people would run a million miles from, apart from the small minority of people who empathise with 'mad' or 'different' people. At first, he appeared normal .. we had normal conversations. But then one day everything just changed. We had a minor disagreement, and he called me the Shaytaan (Arabic word for Satan), and no not in a humorous way, his every word was oozing with anger and suspicion. I couldn't believe my ears. I remember thinking 'oh my god, he is really weird, not in an interesting way, in a way where I was afraid of him,'
Might I add, that was not the only encounter which made me think twice .. oh no, there has been many other eye-openers. As he started getting more comfortable around me (which was fairly quick, but then again I tend to have that affect on people that I meet), he began telling me about the people he could see in his room (there would be no one present, apart from us two), he'd tell me about how the world is plotting against him (he gave a detailed account you know). There is a million things I could paint a picture off, but I guess I'm going to have to reveal some. There was one point where he claimed that half of the wall in his room was broken apart, because the council had planted a bomb in his house. That really blew me off. Pretty much most of us have wished at some point in our lives that we could literally visit the minds of people and just explore their thoughts and motives. Full of fascination, questions and frustration, I wanted to know what triggered this abnormal behaviour in his brain.
I've never outright told him that he needs medical and professional help, but I have insinuated that some of what he says is not true and he's paranoid. To this, he simply argues his point so aggressively, cutting me off when I talk, that now I literally stay silent till he has finished ranting. When we are out and about, his favourite topic of discussion is how everyone outside are not humans, but spirits walking and how we are residing in a 'dead land'. He is very passionate about this particular opinion of his, as he even starts quoting passages from the Qur'an and misinterpreting them to support his argument. The thing is, he does not see how insane he is. Everyone else that knows him can pick up that he has some sort of mental health issue, even within one second of meeting him. At first, I was deeply saddened by this and I did everything I could to always listen to him about his problems and thoughts, comfort him and show him gratitude and love. No sooner did he start taking my kindness for a weakness, at which point I didn't stop caring, the extent to which I did however, was reduced.
The other day, we reunited what was after a very long time apart. When we met up, it was like no time had passed between us, let alone months on end without any communication whatsoever. As we started catching up, he started going off topic, complaining about his hatred for the whole of humanity and some pretty disturbing things, which I dare not describe in this post, for ethical and legal reasons. He was explaining to me that he is really 'different' and that he has the ability to suss people out. Seeing flames around people, were one factor he described in seeing through a person's true colour. I thought I'd play the devils advocate and so I asked him what he could see about me. He hesitated before saying "I see stars around you, you know." My prejudices aside, this actually uplifted me and made my heart smile, even though he had crushed my mood with his negative energy prior to this.
The most alarming and disheartening thing was when he told me that Allah has given him 'him'. Now you can understand that in whatever way .. for me, to even ponder on it made me feel uneasy. As a devout Muslim, this was very unsettling to me. I just remained silent and knew that he actually really does need help. But how can you helps someone who does not want to help themselves?
I guess partly the reason why he hasn't sought help from an sort of institution, is due to the personal experiences he has gone through when people have given up on him. He does not feel normal inside and is struggling to cope with his alternative ideologies to the mainstream. And so I ask, 'when is it going to be normal to have a mental health illness?'. Right now it is not normal, so people detest the thought of it, feel scared and threatened by it.
Take me, for example, this is the first time I am going to publicly announce this. For quite some time, I have been hallucinating (I have never taken any sort of from of drugs). I don't know why this is, but its been an ongoing issue, which I have so used to dismissing. I often see cats and dogs (which I have a phobia off) when I am hallucinating. In addition to this, I also have a tendency to see people in parked cars when they are not actually there. Absurd, but I guess it hits the best of us! But my loopiness does not just end there, I talk to myself (no, not in the normal way). I actually have full on conversations with imaginary people, whom I respond to. I am always only conscious that I do this, after it has taken place! I guess that could have stemmed from depression and feeling lonely, who knows? Only the other day I told a professional about these hallucinations as she was assessing me to match me with a potential therapist. It has taken me so long to talk about this, and openly, without being scared of being judged and sectioned off.
If we are to live in a society of consensus, mutual understanding, appreciation and love, barriers need to be broken and conversations need to happen. Mental health is no joke. Physical illnesses, most of the time can be treated easily, however the mind is something very powerful and hard to just 'cure'.
Someone whom I have known for now about a year and a about 4 months, has seriously concerned me. Since I have know him, I have witnessed what most people would run a million miles from, apart from the small minority of people who empathise with 'mad' or 'different' people. At first, he appeared normal .. we had normal conversations. But then one day everything just changed. We had a minor disagreement, and he called me the Shaytaan (Arabic word for Satan), and no not in a humorous way, his every word was oozing with anger and suspicion. I couldn't believe my ears. I remember thinking 'oh my god, he is really weird, not in an interesting way, in a way where I was afraid of him,'
Might I add, that was not the only encounter which made me think twice .. oh no, there has been many other eye-openers. As he started getting more comfortable around me (which was fairly quick, but then again I tend to have that affect on people that I meet), he began telling me about the people he could see in his room (there would be no one present, apart from us two), he'd tell me about how the world is plotting against him (he gave a detailed account you know). There is a million things I could paint a picture off, but I guess I'm going to have to reveal some. There was one point where he claimed that half of the wall in his room was broken apart, because the council had planted a bomb in his house. That really blew me off. Pretty much most of us have wished at some point in our lives that we could literally visit the minds of people and just explore their thoughts and motives. Full of fascination, questions and frustration, I wanted to know what triggered this abnormal behaviour in his brain.
I've never outright told him that he needs medical and professional help, but I have insinuated that some of what he says is not true and he's paranoid. To this, he simply argues his point so aggressively, cutting me off when I talk, that now I literally stay silent till he has finished ranting. When we are out and about, his favourite topic of discussion is how everyone outside are not humans, but spirits walking and how we are residing in a 'dead land'. He is very passionate about this particular opinion of his, as he even starts quoting passages from the Qur'an and misinterpreting them to support his argument. The thing is, he does not see how insane he is. Everyone else that knows him can pick up that he has some sort of mental health issue, even within one second of meeting him. At first, I was deeply saddened by this and I did everything I could to always listen to him about his problems and thoughts, comfort him and show him gratitude and love. No sooner did he start taking my kindness for a weakness, at which point I didn't stop caring, the extent to which I did however, was reduced.
The other day, we reunited what was after a very long time apart. When we met up, it was like no time had passed between us, let alone months on end without any communication whatsoever. As we started catching up, he started going off topic, complaining about his hatred for the whole of humanity and some pretty disturbing things, which I dare not describe in this post, for ethical and legal reasons. He was explaining to me that he is really 'different' and that he has the ability to suss people out. Seeing flames around people, were one factor he described in seeing through a person's true colour. I thought I'd play the devils advocate and so I asked him what he could see about me. He hesitated before saying "I see stars around you, you know." My prejudices aside, this actually uplifted me and made my heart smile, even though he had crushed my mood with his negative energy prior to this.
The most alarming and disheartening thing was when he told me that Allah has given him 'him'. Now you can understand that in whatever way .. for me, to even ponder on it made me feel uneasy. As a devout Muslim, this was very unsettling to me. I just remained silent and knew that he actually really does need help. But how can you helps someone who does not want to help themselves?
I guess partly the reason why he hasn't sought help from an sort of institution, is due to the personal experiences he has gone through when people have given up on him. He does not feel normal inside and is struggling to cope with his alternative ideologies to the mainstream. And so I ask, 'when is it going to be normal to have a mental health illness?'. Right now it is not normal, so people detest the thought of it, feel scared and threatened by it.
Take me, for example, this is the first time I am going to publicly announce this. For quite some time, I have been hallucinating (I have never taken any sort of from of drugs). I don't know why this is, but its been an ongoing issue, which I have so used to dismissing. I often see cats and dogs (which I have a phobia off) when I am hallucinating. In addition to this, I also have a tendency to see people in parked cars when they are not actually there. Absurd, but I guess it hits the best of us! But my loopiness does not just end there, I talk to myself (no, not in the normal way). I actually have full on conversations with imaginary people, whom I respond to. I am always only conscious that I do this, after it has taken place! I guess that could have stemmed from depression and feeling lonely, who knows? Only the other day I told a professional about these hallucinations as she was assessing me to match me with a potential therapist. It has taken me so long to talk about this, and openly, without being scared of being judged and sectioned off.
If we are to live in a society of consensus, mutual understanding, appreciation and love, barriers need to be broken and conversations need to happen. Mental health is no joke. Physical illnesses, most of the time can be treated easily, however the mind is something very powerful and hard to just 'cure'.