Self respect goes a long way, it is the basis on which people draw their conclusions about you and is the epitome of what you experience as an individual. As a Muslim woman, it is instilled in us by our religion to have self respect by being modest in our clothing and actions. Although I do not wear the Hijab or any other specific Islamic garments, I am very keen on appearing as a woman rather than *insert a body part that is often looked at, because I am to shy to state it*. I want to be seen for me as a person with dignity, not be admired for my body, but for my mind and character.
For as long as I can remember, myself and the opposite gender whom have been close friends, associates and colleagues'have commended me for the self respect I display and my humble nature as ironic as it may sound. (You're probably chuckling to yourself or holding in a giggle at this precise moment, and if you're not, you've just wasted your time reading this added comment). Personally, my self respect is portrayed in the way that I will not wear what I would label 'inappropriate or indecent clothes', As controversial as this will be, in my eyes, this amounts to short shorts, bikinis etc etc, items of clothing which enhance your body shape and emit a sexual allure. This is a conscious decision, mostly a result of my dedication to my religion but also in addition to some life experience.
I have a lot of male friends, and as much as I may hate them for the most part, I do love them and thank them for opening up my eyes and teaching me the guy code. Now I'm not going to condense the guy code into a couple of sentences just so one can get the gist of what I am on about. However, the point to emphasize is that my male friends have taught me what men (the majority of them) hunt for and what strategies they use, how their minds work and ultimately what sort of men to be extra vigilant around. Now I am no misandrist, but after hearing conversation from various groups of men and observing them from both a close angle and a distance, it is clear to me that they are lusty and very animal like. For example, most of my male friends start roaring and puffing when they spot a large behind on a woman, their hormones pouring out of their bodies and encouraging them to make the necessary move, with no consideration for consequences or an ounce of integrity.
Hearing men around me discuss their sexual fantasises about women so vividly and graphically, is very degrading to say the least. Are they thinking with their private parts or their brain, I think to myself. Kind of a rhetorical question to be honest. I detest listening to soundbites of men speaking about different positions and using terms such as 'slush', 'hoe' and 'slapper' to describe women and explanations of how women are just as bad as men and so deserve this sort of recognition.
It is for these reasons combined that I am very strict about how I interact with the opposite gender and to what extent. Don't get it twisted, I am far from a nun or an angel, but I have recently made a pact with myself not to get into a relationship, unless its going to lead to marriage. Men these days just want to have fun and thrive of experiences and break hearts in the process. I'd rather avoid all of that and yes, moan about being lonely every night, having no one to talk to or comfort me. But hey, at least I won't be crying my eyes out whilst feeling my heart sink, because that's terrible pain, that I wouldn't wish on my first and last enemy.
All this aside, I am not ganging up with the men, but I feel like women of today who are objectified enough in media, are influenced to dress in ways that feed the desires of men and are not strong enough to reject this notion.Women go through a great deal, financially and emotionally to suit the needs of a man and keep them happy, but the effort is not always mutual. So, women on a whole have kind of lowered the standards of generations to come by being persistent in attracting attention rather than respect. People of today, both women and men seem to be more concerned in improving and enhancing their outward appearance, rather than working on their inside.
Instagram is a prime example of a place in cyberspace, where the morals of some girls along with common sense seems to have flew out their window with the odd dirty sock. How can you post pictures of you in your underwear and memes describing your sexual fantasies and then be confused and angry when men private message you getting straight to the point. What they do not understand, is that for the most part, a man's approach is based on your presentation? What are you doing to present yourself in a good way? I find it both alarming and distasteful, that women are so keen to be looked at and described as 'hot and sexy' rather than 'beautiful'. Men will be men (many males have reiterated this statement to me) and so I guess we can't stop their biological instincts to want to get down and busy, but we should opt to tame them and nurture them to be respectful.
I guess most of self respect is actually self love and appreciation of one's entire being. It is to be able to walk away from anything that ignites any negative emotion. To recognise when someone is disrespecting you as you are aware of how good you deserve to be treated. Self respect is getting rid of negative self-talk and embracing one's good qualities and holding your head high, because you believe in yourself.
Its been quite a journey in loving myself and being strong enough to cut of relations I have with anyone who has hurt me in whatever way possible. But it has been a journey worth experiencing, as self-respect allows you to feel much more happiness and a sense of power in that you won't put up with anything you wouldn't want to just to make someone else's life easier.
For as long as I can remember, myself and the opposite gender whom have been close friends, associates and colleagues'have commended me for the self respect I display and my humble nature as ironic as it may sound. (You're probably chuckling to yourself or holding in a giggle at this precise moment, and if you're not, you've just wasted your time reading this added comment). Personally, my self respect is portrayed in the way that I will not wear what I would label 'inappropriate or indecent clothes', As controversial as this will be, in my eyes, this amounts to short shorts, bikinis etc etc, items of clothing which enhance your body shape and emit a sexual allure. This is a conscious decision, mostly a result of my dedication to my religion but also in addition to some life experience.
I have a lot of male friends, and as much as I may hate them for the most part, I do love them and thank them for opening up my eyes and teaching me the guy code. Now I'm not going to condense the guy code into a couple of sentences just so one can get the gist of what I am on about. However, the point to emphasize is that my male friends have taught me what men (the majority of them) hunt for and what strategies they use, how their minds work and ultimately what sort of men to be extra vigilant around. Now I am no misandrist, but after hearing conversation from various groups of men and observing them from both a close angle and a distance, it is clear to me that they are lusty and very animal like. For example, most of my male friends start roaring and puffing when they spot a large behind on a woman, their hormones pouring out of their bodies and encouraging them to make the necessary move, with no consideration for consequences or an ounce of integrity.
Hearing men around me discuss their sexual fantasises about women so vividly and graphically, is very degrading to say the least. Are they thinking with their private parts or their brain, I think to myself. Kind of a rhetorical question to be honest. I detest listening to soundbites of men speaking about different positions and using terms such as 'slush', 'hoe' and 'slapper' to describe women and explanations of how women are just as bad as men and so deserve this sort of recognition.
It is for these reasons combined that I am very strict about how I interact with the opposite gender and to what extent. Don't get it twisted, I am far from a nun or an angel, but I have recently made a pact with myself not to get into a relationship, unless its going to lead to marriage. Men these days just want to have fun and thrive of experiences and break hearts in the process. I'd rather avoid all of that and yes, moan about being lonely every night, having no one to talk to or comfort me. But hey, at least I won't be crying my eyes out whilst feeling my heart sink, because that's terrible pain, that I wouldn't wish on my first and last enemy.
All this aside, I am not ganging up with the men, but I feel like women of today who are objectified enough in media, are influenced to dress in ways that feed the desires of men and are not strong enough to reject this notion.Women go through a great deal, financially and emotionally to suit the needs of a man and keep them happy, but the effort is not always mutual. So, women on a whole have kind of lowered the standards of generations to come by being persistent in attracting attention rather than respect. People of today, both women and men seem to be more concerned in improving and enhancing their outward appearance, rather than working on their inside.
Instagram is a prime example of a place in cyberspace, where the morals of some girls along with common sense seems to have flew out their window with the odd dirty sock. How can you post pictures of you in your underwear and memes describing your sexual fantasies and then be confused and angry when men private message you getting straight to the point. What they do not understand, is that for the most part, a man's approach is based on your presentation? What are you doing to present yourself in a good way? I find it both alarming and distasteful, that women are so keen to be looked at and described as 'hot and sexy' rather than 'beautiful'. Men will be men (many males have reiterated this statement to me) and so I guess we can't stop their biological instincts to want to get down and busy, but we should opt to tame them and nurture them to be respectful.
I guess most of self respect is actually self love and appreciation of one's entire being. It is to be able to walk away from anything that ignites any negative emotion. To recognise when someone is disrespecting you as you are aware of how good you deserve to be treated. Self respect is getting rid of negative self-talk and embracing one's good qualities and holding your head high, because you believe in yourself.
Its been quite a journey in loving myself and being strong enough to cut of relations I have with anyone who has hurt me in whatever way possible. But it has been a journey worth experiencing, as self-respect allows you to feel much more happiness and a sense of power in that you won't put up with anything you wouldn't want to just to make someone else's life easier.