If there is ever a woman I talk so highly about and with so much love, it is my nan (my maternal grandmother). Amazing, hilarious, courageous, stoic and with a heart of gold, my nan is the life and joy of those who know her.
My nan and me
Before she migrated to England, she lived a life of hardship and lack of opportunities, as was the case for many first-generation Bengali migrants. My nan was the first wife of my grandfather, but she got married again and now she is a widow, and has been for a long time. I won't get into my the make up of my mum's side of the family, because it does get a little complicated.
Anyway, my nan has told me several times of the many occurrences where she had to tend to my mum when she was a crying and difficult baby under the guava tree. How she done all she could to nurture my mum and maintain care of her, before my mum was put into my nan's sister in law's care. My nan's first child was my mum's only full sibling, her elder sister, who became the primary carer of my mum alongside their aunt. Due to this, my nan was left feeling very anxious and experienced feelings of hurt and loneliness. The soldier she is, she fought through it and got married again and had two more kids, a son and daughter, my very cool aunt and uncle. After the death of her second husband, my nan went through extreme hardship in bringing up two kids on her own, but she did all she could to fend for them.
Although she is a very fast learner and I would say a woman of many skills and of a high calibre, my nan is not fluent in the English language and this has limited her a few times. For example, my aunt takes care of any governmental or organisational matters on behalf of my nan. But that doesn't stop my nan from engaging in big colourful conversations with both people she knows and utter strangers. It is remarkable how bubbly and friendly she is and even more remarkable how we both share the same qualities. I guess that is why we bond the way we do, she's my best friend. I can't walk anywhere in the whole of Enfield, all the way up to Woodgreen and Tottenham without my nan being stopped every two seconds by both genders, all colours and ages. My nan is extremely popular and so should be, she's always hosting lovely dinners at hers, buying people gifts (she is mega generous) and making people wonder how a woman who has gone through so much in life can offer such kindness as opposed to harshness and bitterness.
If you ask any family member about me, they will always make a direct comparison between me and my nan, saying we are the same. We are both very extrovert characters, both people's persons and both who enjoy and embrace the essence of conversation and interaction.
My nan lives by herself as all her children have now moved out and live in their own houses. I really respect my nan, because she doesn't complain about anything in life, she just gets on with it. I admire how confident she is in living alone, even though she is severely ill and fragile. Don't worry, she isn't completely in the dark - my uncle and aunt regularly check up on her, escort her to the doctors and or hospital appointments and generally just show her love and care. I do the best I can in checking my nan at least once or twice a month in between uni and working. My nan is the only grandparent I relate to and enjoy being around, I don't get to see my grandfather (her first husband) much, though I should, I'll make a mental note of that. And my paternal grandparents have passed away, though I have vague memories of them both whilst they were alive.
My nan's house is a home of warmth, love and calm, and this is why it has become my haven and escapism in this worldly life. I can go there and bet on anything that my nan will have me smiling no matter what mood I am in and distract me from feeling any negative emotions. She'll put on her favourite drama and get really excited and describe the plot to me whilst peeling Brazilian nuts for me and enjoying a nice old cuppa too! We share our pain and sorrows but we also rejoice in stories of laughter, wit and happiness. To be honest, I love catching up on gossip about the Enfield aunties/nannies with my nan and also being serious when we want and discussing world affairs.
And oh gosh, how could I forgot her cooking. My nan is renowned for her exceptionally tasty cooking, she will have anyone's taste buds asking for more. No, seriously! My nan is that great a cook. I must say however, her cooking is also very very very HOT! Everything at a cost, ay? I visited her the other day, as she had been on a bus and the bus driver crashed into a car. My nan and a few other people were severely injured. My nan's fine now though Alhamdulillah (all praise to Allah). Back to her cooking, when I went to her house the other day, a friend of hers was there (the typical scenario when I come, always someone at my nans, like I said, she's a big people's person). I mentioned I hadn't had my breakfast and my indigestion was killing me, so basically my nan brought to me a feast of rice and an assortment of curries. Midway into us eating, one of my nan's other friends phoned my nan and at the moment of hearing us tucking into some scrumptious Aloo Satni (potato chutney), she couldn't resist and said she's coming round and she did. The woman told me the personal anecdote of my nan giving her a dish to take home- she had offered some to her son when she went home, and he started gasping for air saying my nan's cooking was too hot! Here is the irony though- apparently he was sipping some water every now and again, saying the food is too spicy but that its extra delicious too! And that kind of reflects my nan, she may be hard-headed and a bit full on, but she has the biggest heart and always means well, which makes her irresistible.
I love you Nan. May Allah give you many more years. Ameen.
Before she migrated to England, she lived a life of hardship and lack of opportunities, as was the case for many first-generation Bengali migrants. My nan was the first wife of my grandfather, but she got married again and now she is a widow, and has been for a long time. I won't get into my the make up of my mum's side of the family, because it does get a little complicated.
Anyway, my nan has told me several times of the many occurrences where she had to tend to my mum when she was a crying and difficult baby under the guava tree. How she done all she could to nurture my mum and maintain care of her, before my mum was put into my nan's sister in law's care. My nan's first child was my mum's only full sibling, her elder sister, who became the primary carer of my mum alongside their aunt. Due to this, my nan was left feeling very anxious and experienced feelings of hurt and loneliness. The soldier she is, she fought through it and got married again and had two more kids, a son and daughter, my very cool aunt and uncle. After the death of her second husband, my nan went through extreme hardship in bringing up two kids on her own, but she did all she could to fend for them.
Although she is a very fast learner and I would say a woman of many skills and of a high calibre, my nan is not fluent in the English language and this has limited her a few times. For example, my aunt takes care of any governmental or organisational matters on behalf of my nan. But that doesn't stop my nan from engaging in big colourful conversations with both people she knows and utter strangers. It is remarkable how bubbly and friendly she is and even more remarkable how we both share the same qualities. I guess that is why we bond the way we do, she's my best friend. I can't walk anywhere in the whole of Enfield, all the way up to Woodgreen and Tottenham without my nan being stopped every two seconds by both genders, all colours and ages. My nan is extremely popular and so should be, she's always hosting lovely dinners at hers, buying people gifts (she is mega generous) and making people wonder how a woman who has gone through so much in life can offer such kindness as opposed to harshness and bitterness.
If you ask any family member about me, they will always make a direct comparison between me and my nan, saying we are the same. We are both very extrovert characters, both people's persons and both who enjoy and embrace the essence of conversation and interaction.
My nan lives by herself as all her children have now moved out and live in their own houses. I really respect my nan, because she doesn't complain about anything in life, she just gets on with it. I admire how confident she is in living alone, even though she is severely ill and fragile. Don't worry, she isn't completely in the dark - my uncle and aunt regularly check up on her, escort her to the doctors and or hospital appointments and generally just show her love and care. I do the best I can in checking my nan at least once or twice a month in between uni and working. My nan is the only grandparent I relate to and enjoy being around, I don't get to see my grandfather (her first husband) much, though I should, I'll make a mental note of that. And my paternal grandparents have passed away, though I have vague memories of them both whilst they were alive.
My nan's house is a home of warmth, love and calm, and this is why it has become my haven and escapism in this worldly life. I can go there and bet on anything that my nan will have me smiling no matter what mood I am in and distract me from feeling any negative emotions. She'll put on her favourite drama and get really excited and describe the plot to me whilst peeling Brazilian nuts for me and enjoying a nice old cuppa too! We share our pain and sorrows but we also rejoice in stories of laughter, wit and happiness. To be honest, I love catching up on gossip about the Enfield aunties/nannies with my nan and also being serious when we want and discussing world affairs.
And oh gosh, how could I forgot her cooking. My nan is renowned for her exceptionally tasty cooking, she will have anyone's taste buds asking for more. No, seriously! My nan is that great a cook. I must say however, her cooking is also very very very HOT! Everything at a cost, ay? I visited her the other day, as she had been on a bus and the bus driver crashed into a car. My nan and a few other people were severely injured. My nan's fine now though Alhamdulillah (all praise to Allah). Back to her cooking, when I went to her house the other day, a friend of hers was there (the typical scenario when I come, always someone at my nans, like I said, she's a big people's person). I mentioned I hadn't had my breakfast and my indigestion was killing me, so basically my nan brought to me a feast of rice and an assortment of curries. Midway into us eating, one of my nan's other friends phoned my nan and at the moment of hearing us tucking into some scrumptious Aloo Satni (potato chutney), she couldn't resist and said she's coming round and she did. The woman told me the personal anecdote of my nan giving her a dish to take home- she had offered some to her son when she went home, and he started gasping for air saying my nan's cooking was too hot! Here is the irony though- apparently he was sipping some water every now and again, saying the food is too spicy but that its extra delicious too! And that kind of reflects my nan, she may be hard-headed and a bit full on, but she has the biggest heart and always means well, which makes her irresistible.
I love you Nan. May Allah give you many more years. Ameen.