A Walk Into The Gardens Of My Mind

I can literally feel every muscle of my heart aching, for the most part, I know why I'm feeling like this, but then again I don't. I'm confused,hurt and broken. I am sick and tired of trying to suppress my insane behaviour and appearing to be what would be classed as 'normal'. I don't want anyone to think I want them to feel sorry for me either, which is why I have bottled up my feelings for so long. I have had depression for a couple of months now, and as a result of previously being diagnosed as having depression, I am quite familiar with the symptoms and effects in behaviour and mind. This time round, I decided I wouldn't go to the doctors, as I was adamant I didn't want to be reliant on pills and that I could get through it by myself. Lately I've been feeling so low, I fail to find words to communicate the severity of my pain and grief. When I pluck up some self-worth and concern, and stop putting others before myself, I guess I will book a

Being a second-generation citizen from a Bangladeshi family and living in London, I have an abundant wealth of life experiences and combined cultural ways of living. With so much western influence being injected into my bloodstream, I do try my best to ensure I take time to appreciate and understand my ethnic cultural roots. Spending good quality time with my parents is something that I am still struggling to get to grips with. By the time I get home most days, I just about have time to eat my dinner ( though I don't really have my dinner these days) , shower, probably squeeze in a little telly marathon or read a few pages of one of my several books and then go to sleep. On the odd occasions that I do come home a little earlier than normal, or I'm feeling exceptionally warming, I go downstairs and watch Bengali dramas or comedies on the telly with my parents. This is my way of connecting to them, through having conversations about the topics raised in the programmes as we

Prince Harry seems to have many tricks up his sleeve as well as future hopes for his career and life fulfilment.  After ten years serving in the army, Harry has now taken another year out, but there is no hesitation that he won't surprise and impress us, both at the same time. According to The Telegraph , he was reported to have said, "it was a really tough decision", before going on to explain, "inevitably, most things come to an end, and I am at a crossroads in my military career." And so he is, at age 30, he might be contemplating finding a suitable partner, starting a family, taking up a new hobby .. who knows?! Unlike his fellow cadets that joined him at just age 20 at Sandhurst, he had not previously attended university and had remarked that his former weeks had turned out a 'struggle' . One can imagine the sort of challenges he faced being involved with the Royal Military Academy , as well as the emotional turmoil of dealing with his moth

Dear Mum ( or Ama as I would call you ) You are nothing short of amazing.  Thank you for all the times you have forgiven me for bringing tears to your eyes, when quite frankly, heaven lies at your feet.  You are so beautiful, but yet so humble. (I wonder where I get the 'I'm the bee's knee's attitude from) , actually I don't .. but you know what I mean, cos I kinda do. Thank you for not letting your past of pain get the best of you, to go through such turmoil and agony and yet you strive to keep us happy, you are a Queen without a crown ( I guess I should buy you one ). I can see you smiling now, see .. I knew it, gosh! You should really apply for being an actress in the next Colgate advert, No, you really should. Nice white teeth like that! You go mum! Thank you for making everyone's breakfast in the morning,even now, when were capable of doing so ourselves. Thank you for supporting me at times when I've felt low and wanted to give up. You are an

                          Cambodian garment workers in a factory. Insert from Google Human rights campaign group, Human Rights Watch ( HRW ) have investigated the precarious labour under taken by Cambodian workers, who have been working over-time. The Cambodian government need to intervene in what seems to be an extremely sad and distressing case. They have failed to protect the vulnerable females at risk. Injustices against these garment workers include discrimination against pregnant workers and going against union-practices. Among the various international apparel brands who are involved in this heinous act are M&S , H&M and GAP. These are all retailers I used to have good and respectable thoughts and admiration for, but now I will have anxiety whenever I see these stores. To know that the clothes that I will wear and show off, get compliments on and feel comfortable in are a product of unfair and manipulated labour makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. Despite w

Is it right to look down on companies that employ young people to phone people randomly to raise funds for charities?                                                             Picture from Channel 4 Last summer, I was in a frantic state, desperately needing a job, I was willing to pretty much anything to make money as long as my dignity remained intact. I ended up getting a job at a telephone fundraising company, due to my experience previously being a door-to-door fundraiser as well as a street one (both jobs I only done to make ends meet). To be honest, when I bagged myself the telephone fundraising job, I really felt that this would be my stepping stone to greater things. No, really I did. I could see myself sitting on the office and happily chatting away to people and at the same ting doing an awesome job on behalf of big and small charities all over the world. However, what I thought the job would entail and what it actually was, lay in stark contrast. It turned

With so much agony and stress on handling immigration levels in the UK, all of the political parties are starting to feel the pressure to obtain the support of the public. My parents being part of the first generation, have always supported and rooted for the Labour party, as they viewed it to be beneficial for people of ethnic minority backgrounds and lower social incomes. However, growing up I found it particularly hard to feel like I'm part of the political influence and discourse in society, due to the under-representation of ethnic minority members in parliament. To point out as well, most MP's and other political figures are mainly white, male and stem from a middle-class background. How am I meant to relate to that? Come on. According to The Evening Standard, Conservative peer and pollster, Lord Ashcroft, reported that being non-white is the best indicator that some won't vote Tory. Personally, me and my family prove this point to be true. My dad regularly has co

          Picture from the Daily Mail Most of my friends probably watched this documentary getting high, excuse the irony. I, for one, felt left out, as I have never smoked anything, let alone cannabis, so seeing Jon Snow getting involved, made me feel a little excluded to say the least, from one of the biggest growing industries and cultural trends, worldwide. Businessman Sir Richard Branson, who was part of the live audience, very interestingly, remarked early on in the programme, "Its clear that drugs should be treated as a health problem and not a criminal problem." I very much agree with Branson here, as I recognise that a lot of people who suffer from mental health illnesses, take Cannabis for medicinal and escapism purposes. In this way, it is clear how this can affect one's health overall, and that not everyone who takes this drug is a criminal or engaged in criminal activity. Dr Christian (from Embarrassing Bodies) went on to ask Branson about how many of